Oscar wild

When Nicole Kidman was announced to present an Oscar (with Daniel Craig), I thought nothing of it…until spotting the red dress. I ran for my eyeglasses. She really is magnificent.


I’ve had the hots for Beyonce ever since her “Crazy in Love” video. Here she’s with Jennifer Hudson, singing tunes from Dreamgirls. I haven’t seen the film, but a few people have described it as a story about Motown records during the late 1950s and early 60s. I hate to disillusion the revisionists out there, but Motown music of that era was certainly not the kind of atonal caterwauling — beginning with and staying fixed on the crescendo — these two were screeching out last night.


Gwyneth Paltrow has lovely hair…but her head doesn’t move!


Hey, Forest, you’ve got the world by the balls. Any chance you can bring your angst down a notch?


Helen Mirren presents Phillip Seymour Hoffman with the ‘Best Eccentric of the Evening’ award. Now go back under your rock, Phil.


Was it my imagination or did Maggie Gyllenhaal look like she was going to pucker herself into another dimension?


Nice caps, dude.


I’ve hated political correctness since Day Fucking One. Last night, Ellen DeGeneres apologized for not calling Penelope Cruz “Mexican.” Yet Tom Hanks insinuated writers were alcoholics. Well…there may be some truth to that…


Best line of the evening: “Valium works” — William Monahan.


It must be love: I still want to bang Catherine Deneuve…preferably without Ken Watanabe in the room.


Reese has worked with some brilliant cinematographers in her movies, because I never noticed that golf ball chin of hers until last night.


Adios, munchkin. Your fifteen minutes are up.


These two nearly chilled me to the bone. We know Tom’s a nut, but this Lansing character is straight out of Stepford.