They cut down trees for this: Grateful for my patronage, an online retailer has been sending free sample subscriptions to magazines I’d otherwise never buy. One is Wired, a techno journal with tweaking and nitpicking among elitists with Too Much Goddamn Money. By the time I reach the contents page, boredom has reared its ugly head. Another freebie is Us Weekly, often making a direct flight from mailbox to bathroom to trash can in less than twelve hours. Obsessed with celebrity dollbabes and children, it has endless photos of rich women jogging, eating and paparazzi-posing when not gagging their little ones with the silver spoon. A lot of these stars I’ve never heard of, but by the time I’m out of the john and back online I’ve forgotten my momentary urge to Google them. Lately there’s been a feud between Angelina Jolie and Jennifer Aniston splashed across their pages, with Us perched in Jennifer’s corner. I guess it’s because Jennifer appears sweet, non-threatening and as bland as Wonder Bread in contrast to AJ’s lascivious whole wheat vamp. Has Jennifer done anything as amazing as AJ’s Gia? Inquiring minds want to know!
Short notice: Here are some films I’ve seen recently: Michael Clancy’s
Eulogy (2004) is like a mainstream Robert Altman movie, meaning it’s coherent and occasionally funny…
Towelhead (2007) is unbelievable, the work of an idiot aiming for De Sica-style pathos without the humanity… The Adam Sandler movie
Click (2006)
was a Christmas gift from someone who found out I like movies; it’s about a suburban schlub fast forwarding through his life, only to croak out the words “family is everything” on his deathbed… From Stephen King,
The Mist (2007) works as a
Twilight Zone-type of horror-mystery, until the last fifteen minutes sinks it — director Frank Darabont should have his license revoked… Andrew Fleming’s
Threesome (1994) came as a surprise, a mature look at adolescent sexuality, sporadically marred by too much forced hilarity and the disquieting oddity of Stephen Baldwin (inset), a man cursed with the face of a chipmunk sucking on lemons…
In Vanity Fair: Bruce Handy offers an excellent article about composer John Barry — click here.
8 Comments:
I'm fully Team Angelina. I don't hate Jennifer, I just think she is boring and should retire to count her Friends money and occasionally release a Greek cookbook. I wish Angelina would go back to wearng vials of blood and stealing every scene she's in. She can keep the kids too.
I was just watching Wanted again (this must be the fourth time), and, yeah, I'm hooked on her too. AJ is amazing!!
"The Adam Sandler movieClick (2006) was a Christmas gift from someone who found out I like movies."
Thanks for my morning laugh.
By the way, Jennifer Aniston never looked hot wearing an eyepatch like Ms. Jolie in Sky Captain.
That Click line stood out for me too. Like someone finding out you're a lover of fine art so they get you a Thomas Kincade print.
Peter: agreed on AJ in Sky Captain... as her character would say, she looked "shahp."
Jonathan: I sat through Click from beginning to end... partly because its director, Frank Coraci, took my niece to his senior prom. Sigh... had she stayed with him, perhaps I'd be helping out on screenplays to movies like Click... and she'd be lounging poolside in some swank Hollywood digs. Instead she's cutting hair in a strip mall salon on Long Island, married to an unemployed auto body mechanic, putting three kids through school.
Agh! When the American Premiere closed I got US Weekly as a "compensation" for a while. It's just as you say, something to read in the crapper, and not good enough even for that. I found myself just looking at the pretty pictures, the words were so insulting.
I've given your blog the Dardos award. Thanks for your great reviews!
http://gatochy.blogspot.com/2009/01/smashing-200.html
I remember Threesome as being surprising as well. This may be a crazy statement, but I honestly expected more from Stephen Baldwin.
The part of US Weekly or one of those terrible cage-liners that I like is the "stars, they're just like us" section. Where we see strange things like stars drinking coffee. And putting on pants. And driving drunk. It always makes me feel a whole bunch better.
Piper, unfortunately all we got was more of Alec Baldwin... both on TV and, well, "See stars scream at their wives in public" and "Stars have drinking problems just like Real People"... ~ hic! ~
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
Links to this post:
Create a Link
<< Home