Decapersonae

Thanks to The Film Doctor for inviting me to the ‘10 Favorite Film Characters’ meme — characters who rock me even if the movie blows. It’s not definitive, but it’s all I got, subject to change on whim, and in no specific order:

Frances Stevens
(Grace Kelly)
To Catch a Thief

Forgive my predilection for wealthy, horny, beautiful, fun, impeccably dressed, educated, tan, well spoken, sophisticated young blonde women who sun themselves all day on the Riviera, offer gentlemen callers ‘a leg or a breast’ for lunch and a soft but direct “hold them” after dinner. Yes, forgive me.

Chino
(Lee Marvin)
The Wild One

Chino and the Beetles made Brando’s BRMC look like a cadet revue from a Castro Street leather bar. Chino was rough, unshaven, in need of a bath, ready for cheap thrills, a few laughs, perhaps some poon if he didn’t guzzle down too many brewskies. And he could easily beat the living Christmas out of Johnny had that whiny old sheriff not put his ass in the can.

Pherber
(Anita Pallenberg)
Performance

Chas (James Fox) ‘interviewing’ for the basement apartment is one of the great moments of late-60s cinema. Running her long index finger along some furniture (whose orifice had it been probing just moments before he showed up?), Pherber coolly recites rental terms while unfolding her luscious legs for his and our pleasure. When last seen she was retreating into a closet, bloodied and panicked from gunfire. I’d like to think she’s in there still, along with all the other psychedelic tchotchkas at 81 Powis Square.

Ugo
(Sergio Castellitto)
Va savoir

I love every character in this, but given his brusque manner, low self esteem and childish fits of jealousy, Ugo is closest in spirit to your humble narrator. Highlights: Ugo chowing down at the raw nerve of a dinner party, and sweetly blowing it with the lovely ‘Do’ (Hélène de Fougerolles, above). Note to self: watch this again, immediately.

Sarah Connor
(Linda Hamilton)
Terminator 2: Judgment Day

Casting her as the beauty of TV’s Beauty and the Beast was a stretch — face it, she’s a bit of a bow-wow — and there’s little in the filmography of lasting value. But as Sarah in the second Terminator movie (she was a tad puffy in the first), Linda Hamilton tore into the muscular mental patient/survivalist with unexpected verve. And: love the shades.

Phillip Vandamm
(James Mason)
North by Northwest

Where to begin? “Seems to me you fellows could stand a little less training from the F.B.I. and a little more from the Actor’s Studio.” Or, “With such expert playacting, you make this very room a theater.” And of course, “That wasn’t very sporting, using real bullets.” Pass the brandy and cigars…

Novalee Nation
(Natalie Portman)
Where the Heart Is

Purity can lapse into self-parody (or a coma), and this film has far more detractors than defenders. Me? I’d like to imagine that I’m right there with Novalee: clueless, searching, delusional, sweet, soft, out of it, determined, trusting. Given the choice to live for an extended period of time with any of the characters on this list, I’d happily go with Novalee.

Kelly
(Timothy Olyphant)
The Girl Next Door

Playing the model scuzzball — believably — is no easy task, but so much of this funny, clever film transcends the norm, anyway. Kelly’s introduction, the camera panning up his unflappable white trash-hustler-dufus bod, is a sleazy stunner. “Look at me! I’m fuckin’ Garfunkel!”

Maxine Faulk
(Ava Gardner)
Night of the Iguana

I’m taken with many of Ava’s characters, I’m taken with Ava, but Maxine — middle-aged sage working a bed and breakfast in the village of the damned — beats all. Plus there’s her famous comeback to Deborah Kerr’s “I’m a spinster pushing forty”: “Aw, honey, who isn’t?!?” Actually, Ava was forty-two at the time and Deborah forty-three, but no one’s counting.

Alexis Davis
(Nancy Lee Grahn)
General Hospital

OK, here goes what little credibility I had left: I watch General Hospital. Religiously, every day, Monday through Friday, for approximately twenty years. You think I’m kidding? Last week Michael’s hand moved, Claudia poked pinholes in Sonny’s condoms, and Robin tore up the script for her meds (she’s in deep shit). I’m shamelessly addicted. And my favorite character is Alexis, because she’s sharp, cool, very, very funny and a knockout at fifty-four.


Passing the meme onward, I’d love to see 10 faves apiece from Mariana at Gatochy’s Blog, Tom at If Charlie Parker…, Campaspe at Self-Styled Siren, Greg at Cinema Styles and Marilyn at Ferdy on Films.